Mistakes
by Rhizer
Summary: We know they're made for each other but will they be able figure it out before it's too late? Set before the baby drama.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is my first Callie/Arizona story and the first story I've actually posted. Any feedback is welcome, reviews are love and constructive criticism is useful. The chapters will get longer, the first one is very short but that's because this story started out as a drabble. Hope you enjoy it!**

We're fighting again. It's been happening a lot lately. I can't even remember how this one started. I close my eyes as she continues to rant about something I didn't do or did do, it's hard to keep track these days, and try to think back to where we used to be. When we lived in a happy bubble and it seemed like nothing could touch us. How did we get here? She began acting strange several weeks ago, at first I thought it was just the stress of work getting to her but that usually breezes over after a few days and several boxes of doughnuts. This was different, this stayed and it escalated.

It started with her being constantly irritated and pretty soon she didn't have any time for me at the hospital. The only time I really saw her was at home and even that was rare because she seemed to be working longer and longer hours. I kept telling myself that it's just work, she has a stressful caseload and she'll come talk to me about it when she's ready. That stopped working when she began sleeping at the hospital almost every night for the past week. When she finally came home tonight I dared to think that maybe just maybe she was ready to open up and explain what has been going on but instead here we are standing at opposite sides of the lounge room yelling at each other.

"Are you even listening to me Calliope?" she snaps.

She looks exhausted and I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything is going to be ok but every time I move towards her she backs away like I have some deadly disease.

"What happened?" I wonder out loud.

She glares at me quizzically as if daring me to continue pointing out the elephant in the room. I continue unable to hold back the pain I've been feeling for the past weeks any longer.

"What happened to us? All we do anymore is fight. That is if you're not too busy avoiding me at the hospital." I say accusingly.

"Oh so it's my fault now?" she challenges, "Well maybe if you weren't always running to _her_ we'd have something to talk about!"

I know immediately she's talking about Addison. She came back to Seattle to help with little Sloan's pregnancy and ended up staying for several months. I know I have been leaning on Addie a fair bit since she got here but she's my best friend. I decide to point this out to Arizona.

"She's my best friend! Of course I'm going to lean on her, that's what best friends do!"

"That's what girlfriends do Calliope! How do you think I feel when every time the slightest thing comes up _my girlfriend_ goes running to someone else? It feels like I'm the only one in this relationship." She pauses sighing.

"So yes I've been avoiding you but it's because every time I look at you I'm reminded that you seem to be more invested in your relationship with Addison then you are with ours!"

By this point several tears are running down her cheeks. I stand there staring at her, the reality of her words slowly hitting me. I search my mind for the words to comfort her to reassure her that I am still one hundred percent in this but all I can think of is how much pain I have caused her.

I look into the blue eyes I love so much as I try desperately to make my mouth work. "I...I'm..." I stutter as I stare into her eyes trying to convey with my eyes what my mouth is unable to. She looks away trying the blink back the tears. She bites her lip, looks back at me briefly before squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head. With those simple movements I feel my heart shatter, I already know what comes next but it still breaks me as I watch her walk past me, her shoulders slumped in defeat, and out the door.


	2. Celine Dion & oncall rooms

[Arizona]

I don't care what I look like, drinking wine and crying in my lounge room with Celine Dion blasting out of the stereo. Why bother caring anymore, Calliope didn't care enough to stop me leaving so why should I worry about what I look like.

"Christ it's worse than I thought."

A voice behind me says making me jump a mile high and consequently fall off the couch with a loud thud.

"Ooww!" I whine.

Cautiously I peer over the couch at the intruder. Relief floods my body when I recognise the short brown hair and piercing green eyes of one of the only people I can stand seeing me in this state.

"Really Zona? Celine Dion? Geez I leave you for a couple of months and you turn into a cliché" the intruder smirks.

"Katey!" I exclaim as I dive over the couch to pull her into a tight hug. As I rest my head on her shoulder I feel myself relax in the familiar safety of her embrace.

"You came" I sigh.

"Of course I did Zona. You really expect me to listen to you sob and babble incoherently on the phone for an hour only to be hung up on and not come to find out what's going on?" Kate smiles softly.

"I'm so sorry I shouldn't have hung up on you like that but I just couldn't speak anymore, it was like my vocal cords just stopped working and besides I knew you would understand. How did you get here so fast? I mean not that I'm not thankful your here! I mean wow your actually here, standing in my apartment! Wait" I pause my rambling to stare at Kate in confusion.

"How did you get into my apartment?"

Kate laughs at my rambling "I thought you would have learned how to lock your door after all those times I walked in on you and Joanne in college"

"Oh" I say shocked at my recklessness.

"To answer your rambling I was already in town for a gig and before you yell at me, I was planning to surprise you… Surprise!" She finishes giving me a cheesy grin as she waves her hands in the air.

"Anyway I think we need to turn this off before your neighbours begin to worry" Kate says as 'all by myself' begins to play for the third time since she entered the apartment.

"Seriously Zona that's really abusing the repeat button" she says as I feel myself turning red.

"Yeah well I was upset." I say trying to defend myself.

"I can see that" Kate states staring pointedly at the open bottle of wine and empty box of doughnuts sitting on the coffee table next to the photo I'd been staring at for hours.

"Yeah" I whisper looking at the photo of Callie and me. We look so happy; it was taken at new years. Even though we didn't get to bring in the news years together Callie had been waiting for me at home when I finished my shift. She'd made dinner for us and we spent what was left of the night cuddling on the couch. At one point Callie pulled out her camera and we messed around taking silly photos. This one had been my favourite though, Callie had been making a silly face when just before she took the photo I leaned over and kissed her. Callie couldn't keep the smile off her face and to me that made the photo perfect.

"So are you going to tell me what happened Zona?"

Kate questions as she flops down on the couch next to me. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to stop the inevitable tears.

"I..I left her" I breathe deeply.

"I just.. I couldn't do it anymore. I don't know when it happened but she built a wall between us. It was like I turned around one day and had no idea who she was. I tried to pretend it was ok, that it was just her bonding with her best friend, that she'd let me in soon enough but weeks turned into months and it got harder and harder to make myself believe my own lies. I had no clue what was going through her head because when ever she needed someone to talk to she'd run off to Addison!" I pause trying to calm myself down.

"After about a month I began avoiding her, working longer hours. It hurt too much to look at her and see the person I fell in love with but have no idea who the person standing in front of me was. Every time I did see her we ended up fighting." I say as I desperately try to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

"Oh Zona, why didn't you tell me?" Kate cries.

"Because that would've made it real, not just some phase in our relationship." I reply tears now flowing freely down my cheeks.

"So last night?" she prompts.

"I left her and she didn't even try to stop me. She just stood there staring at me with those beautiful brown eyes" I whisper as I feel any strength I have left disintegrate.

The thought of the eyes I love so much sends me over the edge and I feel myself crumbling in front of Kate. She pulls me to her when the sobs begin to rip through my body once more. It feels like we stay like that for hours, Kate whispering words of comfort into my ear while I sob not so quietly into her shoulder.

[Callie]

It's been nine days eleven hours and twenty-seven minutes since she closed the door on our relationship. In that time I've seen her a total of three times, if you count seeing a blur of blonde hair rushing around the corner. I only knew it was her by the sound of her heelies. Three times! In over a week! One of the three times was in one of the many halls of the hospital but it was like she didn't even see me. She just walked straight past me without so much as a glance my way.

I once told her that it's a big hospital with plenty of places to hide, at the time I really didn't think that statement would come back around to bite me in the ass. I was wrong yet again. She must have been using plenty of those hiding places because I've had several PEDs consults in the past nine days but she's nowhere in sight by the time I get there. It's like I'm wearing a freaking bell or something!

Today was different though. I was hanging around the nursery hoping for the chance to accidentally bump into her when I was paged. Finally I had a real chance, she couldn't avoid me again when I was so close by. So I rushed down the hall to the patient's room, practically take down the door to find... Lexie.

She did it again. She can't even stand to be in the same room as me. As Lexie begins to tell me about the patient's condition I have to force myself back into work mode. I'm about to tell Lexie to get an x-ray but I have to stop because there she is gliding through the door giving the boy laying in bed a hundred megawatt smile.

She's discussing treatment with Lexie and every now and then turning to the little boy and his parents to explain what's going on. Not once does she turn to me, not one word spoken. Of course she's so professional and perky that nobody even notices that her body is distinctly turned away from me or that she didn't even spare a glance for my side of the room. I notice, but then I guess I'm the only one that's supposed to.

Then as quickly as she arrives she's gone, leaving me wishing I'd just let her avoid me instead of watching her completely ignore me.

That's what led me here, curled up in the nearest on call room I could find, wishing the tears would stop.

I throw my arm over my eyes in an effort to protect them from the piercing light that rushes in as someone opens the door. Keeping silent I hope against hope that they'll realise they're in the wrong room and leave without seeing me.

"Hey you ok Cal?" Addy asks as she steps into the room closing the door with a soft click behind her. No such luck.

"I'm fine." I mumble as I slowly peak out from behind my arm to see her perched on the edge of the table watching me intently.

"Sure" she says, the tone of her voice and the look on her face tells me she doesn't believe me for a second.

"I really screwed up this time Addy." I relent.

"It'll be ok Cal" Addison tries.

"She can't even stand to be in the same room as me!" I retort. I breathe in sharply, somehow saying it out loud makes it so much worse.

"Come out with me and Mark tonight. You've barely left the hospital all week. Don't think we haven't noticed you've been staying in the on call rooms instead of going home" there's a slight pleading note to her voice as she looks at me with concerned eyes.

She's right, I've been avoiding going home after I spent the first cold sleepless night in my bed after Arizona left. I can't even stand to be in my own apartment. I can't help but let out a hollow laugh at the ridiculousness of it. I used to be hardcore, now here I am afraid to go home because of a few memories.

"We worry about you Cal, hell when you wouldn't tell us what happened I practically had to restrain Mark to stop him going after Arizona to find out." She say with a small smile.

"Please Cal, you can't keep hiding," She pleads as she looks at me with worried eyes.

I'm just about to give in when suddenly Mark bursts into the room.

"Did she say yes yet?" He questions looking pointedly at Addison.

"Could you be any more impatient Mark and don't think I didn't realize you were listening at the door" Addison accuses with a roll of her eyes.

"You wouldn't let me in! What was I suppose to do?" He replies his voice equally accusing as he pouts like child being refused candy.

"Oh and for your information" He says looking at me and throwing a smirk in Addy's direction who blushes as if she already knows what he's about to announce.

"It wasn't me who had to be restrained. Addison here was ready to knock Blondie off her heelies in order to get information out of her. _I_ don't hit women, _I_ wanted to do thing civilly." He finishes looking quite smug at Addison's embarrassment at being caught out.

"Civilly!" Addison scoffs. "_You_wanted to corner her in the elevator and keep her trapped there until she spilt the beans!"

I can't help but laugh at their antics, which turns out to be a bad move when it draws their attention to me. I hold my hands up in surrender while quickly standing up and moving towards the door.

"I've got rounds to do so I'm just going to go." I say in a rush as I head towards the door.

I hurry down the hall hoping they'll forget about tonight if I leave quickly enough.

"You're coming tonight though right?" Mark yells after me.

I just wave him off in reply and wonder if it would be worth taking an extra shift in the ER to get out of tonight.


	3. Memories & Bar Bathrooms

******A/N:**** More Calzona interaction this chapter. It's also longer, it took me awhile to get into the swing of things but now the chapters will be longer and filled with more drama. The Song in this chapter is Songbird by Fleetwood Mac.**

**Thank you to wicca678****over at livejournal for betaing.**** Thanks for reading!**  
_Italics_ = Flashback. ******Bolded** = lyrics.

[Arizona]

All I want to do right now is take a nice relaxing bath and curl up in bed. As I step out of the elevator I spot Katey waiting for me on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. I pause for a moment wondering why she's here when it hits me, the reason she was in Seattle in the first place, her gig is tonight. So much for the quiet night at home I had planned.

"Hey" She greets as I approach her. I give her a smile which lacks enthusiasm.

"You ready to go?" she says practically hoping up and down on the spot. I can't help but find her excitement infectious. She wraps an arm around my shoulder and begins leading me towards the exit.

"Come on Zona get some energy! It'll be just like the old days." She announces.

"You used to come to all of my gigs back in collage, no matter how crappy the venue!" She says smiling.

I can't but feel guilty for forgetting when she's so excited to spend a night out together like the old days. I guess seeing Calliope today threw me more than I thought. Being in that room with her was torture even if it was only for a few minutes. I couldn't let myself look at her, if I had I know I would have broken down and I can't do that. Not at work. Not even when I can feel her eyes burning into me. No, not while children still need me to fix them. They need me to be strong for them. At work I need to be in control of my own life so I can help the children who can't control theirs.

I snap out of my thoughts to look up at the sign in front of me.

"Umm Katey why are we outside Joe's?" I question.

"This is where my gig is Zona. Remember I told you, my cousin Tim is with this guy called Joe and when I mentioned I was thinking about coming to Seattle he offered me a gig." she replies.

"But why would you accept a low paying gig in a small bar when you had a steady, successful job back in New York? And don't say you came for me because you only found out about my problems once you were already here." I say staring her down.  
I know staring her down will work, it always does. She starts cracking her knuckles as she tries to think of a reply, that's step one. Gnawing on her bottom lip, step two. Next comes the mumbled answer.

"Well you see" she starts as she looks away from my stare.

"Themahvbenaincidwtlida" she mumbles.

"Care to repeat that?" I ask the tone of my voice telling her it's not a question. She takes a deep breath before repeating herself.

"There may have been a slight incident with Linda."

"Linda? Oh Linda!" I say as I realize exactly who she's talking about. A month ago Katey had gone out on three dates with this girl Linda before realizing she was a bit well... intense. On the third date she started talking about marriage and babies, so Katey decided to let her down gently and move on. Which was fine for about a week. It didn't take long for her to find out about the website warning women to stay away from Katey, who would 'use them and dump them'. She had to pay some computer hacker to get it taken down.

"What happened?"

"Well she may have tried to burn down my apartment , I wasn't home but luckily a neighbour realized what was going on and called the fire department before much damage could happen. So I thought a change in location was in order and what better reason to come spend some time with my favourite gal!" She finishes cheerily as if she thinks if she changes her tone I won't realize what she just said.

"SHE WHAT!?!?" I yell, unable to stop the rise in my voice.

"Calm down Zona. It's ok, I'm fine. Let's face it she was probably following me around so if she had meant to harm me she wouldn't have waited for me to leave." She tries to reassure me.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was planning to but when I got to your place and found you the way you were..." She begins explaining before I cut her off.

"Oh god, I'm such a horrible friend! I've been so wrapped up in my own drama I didn't even think about anything you might be going through!" I reprimand myself.

"Zona stop it. I think what you are going through is slightly bigger than a stupid little restraining order. Besides I was looking for a reason to get out that hell hole anyway, so any reason to move closer to you is good enough for me." She says whilst giving me her most charming smile.

"You're moving here?" I question. Her smile grows when she thinks she's successfully distracted me.

"If I can find a job and a place to live, yeah that's the plan."

I can feel the smile on my face grow impossibly wide as I launch myself at her pulling her into a hug.

"Move in with me." I say as I pull back from the hug. I continue when I see the unsure look on her face.

"Oh come on you know you want to! Besides it wouldn't hurt to have someone to share the rent with."

"Are you sure? I mean I don't want to invade your space..." She trails off.

"Of course! It'll be just like college! Except no sex with random women in my kitchen. I have to cook my food there." I say scrunching my nose up.

"You don't cook." She points out.

"Yeah, well still it's unhygienic." I laugh.

"Ok, ok. It's not like I could say no to you even if I wanted to anyway. I suppose I'll just have to find some way to deal with seeing your ugly mug everyday." She replies with a cheeky grin. I purse my lips and slap her on the arm.

"Well if you're going to be like that maybe you should be looking for a place to stay tonight." I threaten, pouting when she begins to laugh at me.

"I've missed you Zona." she says laughing as she wraps an arm around my shoulder and leads me into Joes.

"I've missed you too Katey but don't think I've forgotten about Linda, that conversation isn't over." I say as I step through the door.

She just grins and waves my comment off as she walks over to a guy that I assume is Tim, leaving me to get a drink while she prepares.

[Callie]

I walk quickly into the attending's locker room to get changed as fast as possible. Addison should be just finishing up in surgery so if I'm quick I should be able to miss her. The main problem is Mark. I'm not sure where he is, last time I saw him he was busy in the ER but that was two hours ago. I change into my street clothes and grab my purse. Cautiously I glance around the doorframe, making sure the coast is clear before rushing across the short distance to the elevators. I press the button five or six times rapidly knowing it won't make the doors open any sooner but still hoping. My eyes dart around the corridors looking for any signs of Mark or Addison as I wait impatiently for the elevator. I've never loved the 'ding' sound of the elevator more than I do right now. I hastily step into the cart and press the button to the lobby. I'm home free. A grin creeps onto my face at the thought of beating Mark. All I have to do is make it out of the lobby and across the street and I'll be free to lock myself in my apartment.

"Wait. Hold the elevator!" My eyes widen at the sound of Mark's voice. My finger jabs the 'close doors' button in a last desperate attempt to hide from him. They're almost shut when an arm comes flying through forcing them open again.

"Dammit." I curse under my breath.

"Torres!" Mark chuckles "Anyone would think you're trying to avoid me."

He steps into the elevator and casually wraps an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm glad I caught you, I was afraid you might have _forgotten_ about our plans." He says sarcastically.

"Not that it really matters if I caught up with you or not." He continues.

I look at him in confusion.

"We had a backup plan." He states, staring ahead at the opening doors.

As the doors open I realize what he means. Just on the other side of the doors watching us is a smirking Addison.

"Fine." I huff.

"I'll go but your buying." I say pointing at him. I quickly walk over to Addy leaving him spluttering behind me.

[Arizona]

"This last song is very special to me, I've only performed it twice in my life. Sometimes we need a reminder from our past to help us see the future we want." Katey announces into the microphone as her eyes catch mine and she gives me a small smile.

I know which song she is talking about as soon as she speaks but as those first few notes on the piano wash over me I can't stop the memories as they come rushing back. 

**For you, there'll be no more crying,**

**For you, the sun will be shining,**

**And I feel that when I'm with you,**

**It's alright, I know it's right**

**To you, I'll give the world,**

**To you, I'll never be cold,**

**Cause I feel that when I'm with you,**

**It's alright, I know it's right.**

_I've never seen him looking as happy as he does right now. He's gazing lovingly at Megan like she's the only one in the room. It's beautiful. I feel my eyes well up with tears of joy at the sight. It's then that he turns to see me watching him. He gives me a full dimpled grin before excusing himself and making his way towards me._

_  
"Have I ever told you how envious of you I am?" I say as he reaches me._

"A few times" he replies chuckling.

"You're so in love" I sigh wistfully.

"Hmmm it wasn't always easy, to be honest I'm surprised she's put up with me this long. but I'm glad she did" he says, watching his bride with a dreamy look on his face.

"It's not easy putting up with you" I tease.

"Oh and your bundle of laughs to be around all the time?" he fires back smirking at me.

_  
"Yeah well..." I begin to pout at my lack of a comeback._

I know it's childish but I poke my tongue out at him anyway when he laughs at me, which only makes him laugh harder.

"Real mature Zona" he says as he tries to regain his composure.

"What are little sisters for" I reply grinning up at him.

"Guess I should return you to your wife" I say when I see Megan glance our way.

"Wife. I'll never get sick of hearing that." he whispers.

He looks into my eyes a serious expression painted on his features.

"When you find her Zona, never let her go. Fight with everything you have to keep her by your side because there really is nothing better in the world. I almost lost Megan once, it was the worst three weeks of my life, but it made me realize how precious our love is. It's never perfect but you fight for it anyway and you grow because of it."

"How do you know if you should fight for it? I interrupt. "How do you know that it's not just time to let go?"

"You want to fight" he says simply. "You find the energy and you fight because deep down you know it's worth it".

"Promise me you'll fight Zona" he says as I stare into the eyes that are almost identical to my own.

"I promise" I whisper.

The moment is broken by the sound of a microphone crackling to life. I looked across the room to where Katey is standing next to the grand piano that had been set up near the dance floor.

I smile as wrap my arms around Dakota's shoulders and pull him into a tight hug. "I love you" I say one more time before he runs off to his happily ever after.

"I love you too Zona" he says hugging me tighter before pulling away, giving me one more dimpled grin and walking back over to his wife.

My attention was drawn back to Katey as she began addressing the crowd.

"I hope everyone is having a great time. At this point in the evening I would like to invite Dakota and Megan onto the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife."

"Everybody Mr and Mrs Dakota Robbins" Katey announces as they walk onto the dance floor together.

Cheers filling the room as Katey begins to play their song and the couple begins to dance. Soon everyone is mesmerized watching the happy couple holding onto each other as if nothing else in the world matters. 

**And the songbirds are singing,**

**Like they know the score,**

**And I love you, I love you, I love you**

**Like never before.**

**And I wish you all the love in the world,**

**But most of all, I wish it from myself.**

Five months later Dakota shipped out to Iraq and I never saw that dimpled grin again. The next time Katey played their song was at his funeral. 

**And the songbirds keep singing,**

**Like they know the score,**

**And I love you, I love you, I love you,**

**Like never before, like never before.**

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, pausing to feel the air rush in and fill my lungs. When I open my eyes Katey is watching me closely as she plays the last few cords of the song. I give her a look of understanding and a small encouraging smile. I feel a tear run down my cheek and I realize why she looks so concerned, like she's afraid she's pushed too far. I try to reassure her with a dimple popping smile before rising and heading to the bathroom to clean myself up.

As I walk to the bathroom I can't help but spot the beautiful raven hair that I would give anything to be able to run my fingers through again. She's standing at one of the many table flanked by Addison and Mark. Mark is talking animatedly about something, capturing their attention but she's not really listening. Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes and she gives a small timid laugh instead of the deep throaty chuckle you'll hear if she finds something truly funny.

As if she can feel my gaze she looks up and our eyes lock, I feel myself falling for her all over again with just a simple look. It takes all my will power to pull my gaze away from those deep hazel eyes and continue on towards the bathroom. 

[Callie]

I'm not really sure what mark is prating on about, something about the nurses I think. I haven't been paying attention for the last ten minutes. My mind keeps wandering back to Arizona, the mysterious piano girl and the intimate glances they keep sending each other.

When I saw her sitting at one of the tables closest to the small stage I immediately sought out a vantage spot to watch her from. She may not want to see me but that doesn't mean I can't watch her from across a crowded bar. Mark and Addy didn't even notice my sudden interest in standing at that particular table, they just seemed happy to see me outside of the hospital.

So here I am looking just to the left of Mark's head to watch her from across a crowed room as she exchanges looks with the piano player. As I see her stand and begin to make her way across the bar I have to force myself to look back at Mark. He finishes his joke and I laugh like I'm paying attention but I can't pay attention when she's so close.

Maybe just one glance, one quick glance can't hurt. Ok, one glance and then I can get back to my night out. I look up and am immediately drawn into the angelic blue pools. I know this has gone well beyond a glance by now but I just can't pull away. There's so much sadness in her eyes but behind the sadness I swear I see a faint glimmer of hope. She breaks away and continues past us but my eyes follow her until the bathroom door swings closed blocking her from view. Realizing this may be my only chance to talk to her outside of work I quickly excuse myself from the conversation that I was supposedly apart of and head towards the place where it all began.

'You can do this. You're a hardcore rockstar. Hardcore rockstar.' I remind myself before taking a deep breath and pushing the door open. She looks up from fixing her makeup as I close the door behind me.

"Calliope." She utters staring at me in the mirror.

"Hey." I reply meekly. Great what happened to the hardcore rockstar?

The silence is deafening. I can feel the nerves building inside of me when she makes no attempt to reply.

"I miss you." I blurt out, effectively smashing the silence into small pieces and throwing it through a mulcher.

She turns she gaze from me and frowns at the sink in front of her.

"Please Ari, I need you. I'll do anything. Just tell me how I can fix this." I plead, giving up on being hardcore and instead looking at her desperate to fix us.

The silence stretches out between us and I'm almost ready to give up when she speaks up softly.

"I should be one of the most important people to you" She says calmly, like it should answer everything.

"You are!" I interrupt.

"No I'm not!" she cries out, spinning to face me. A pained look firmly plastered on her face. I can see the tears forming in her eyes as she rushes to finish what she begun.

"I stopped feeling like the most important person to you a long time ago and every time you ran off to Addison for comfort you proved those feelings right!"

She's gripping the edge of the sink as if it's the only thing stopping her from collapsing into a sobbing mess. I take a tentative step forward, hating the distance between us.

As our eyes connect again I feel myself being drawn in. I can't stop myself from reaching out to her hoping that she won't pull away and break my heart again. I can't help but let out a soft sigh of relief as I feel the soft skin of her cheek under my fingers.

"You are the most important person to me. You're my everything. I love you." I try to make her see that it's the truth as I choke back on the sob that's building in my throat.

"I love you too."

As soon as I hear her response I can't stop myself from leaning in and brushing my lips against hers. When her hand comes up to rest on my cheek I pull her closer and pour all my love into the kiss. Slowly she breaks the kiss but doesn't pull away, instead resting her forehead lightly against mine.

"I love you so much" I breathe.

"I know." She replies softly with a sad smile as several tears begin to cascade down her cheeks.

She gives me a small lingering kiss, but this isn't filled with the same passion as before. It's as if she's saying goodbye I realize.

"I know. And I wish it was enough but I can't go back to how we were." She brings her other hand up to cover my own before continuing.

"I need you to trust me enough to let me in instead of constantly running from me. I need to know that you are completely in this relationship. That you want this to work just as much as I do. I need you to fight." She finishes her voice shaking slightly.

I silently watch as she steps around me and out the door but this time when the door closes behind her I don't feel my world shatter into a million delicate pieces, instead I feel a flicker of hope.


	4. Tequila & Friends

**Summary: **We know they're made for each other but will they be able to make it work? Callie has security issues. Will she be able to work through them before she loses Arizona for good? Set before the baby drama.  
**Disclaimer: **All things Grey's belong to Shonda. I'm just messing around in her playground. Katey is the only one that is an original creation of my imagination. Everything and everyone else is simply being borrowed.  
**Beta:** Many Thanks to **wicca678** over at livejournal for betaing.

**A/N:**I only have _very_ basic medical knowledge and as a rule I try to avoid writing about things I don't understand. I apologise in advance if any medical references in this chapter don't make sense, I did some research before I wrote this chapter but google can only get you so far. I kept the medical stuff to a minium so hopefully it'll be fine.

Feedback is love! I always want to hear what you think. Your comments motivate me to keep writing and to improve.

**A/N 2:** Wicca678 won't be able to help me out for the next 1-2 chapters due to the Iceland volcano, so if anyone would be willing to be a temporary beta for me please message me or leave a comment. Thanks!

* * *

**[Addison]**

Since that night at Joe's five days ago Callie has been in her own little world, trying to figure out the best way to prove herself and her love to Arizona. We're sitting outside having lunch in the rare Seattle sunshine and she's off in her own world again. I get that it's really important to her and she wants to get it just right, but today has been really slow, add to that no conversation over crappy cafeteria lunch and you have very bored and somewhat irritated Addison.

"Are you planning to talk to me at all?" I question Callie as she stares off into space.

"Callie! Hey you in there?" I say as I snap my fingers in front of her face.

She jerks her head to look at me, a slight frown creasing her brow.

"What?" She questions impatiently.

"You're ignoring me and I'm having a really, really dull day. So I'm not in the mood to be ignored."

She gives me a 'you've got to be kidding me' look and goes back to her musing.

"I'll help you plan. Come on Cal I need an adult conversation! I've been around babies and Mark all day." I beg earning a laugh from her.

"Ok but no laughing at stupid cheesy ideas because if that's what it takes to get her back I'll do it." She warns.

I raise my hand

"No laughing." I agree with a smile, which she returns.

She opens her months to begin what I'm sure is an extremely long and fast ramble with just a hint of Spanish thrown in when a beeping rips though the air breaking any chance of a conversation. I look down at my pager and groan when I realise it's not mine breaking up our lunch early. She looks at me apologetically as she gets up from the table gathering the remains of her lunch.

"Fine but if I have to suffer through lunch by myself I'm coming over tonight to figure this out once and for all." I say, suddenly very annoyed with the salad in front of me.

"I'll see you at the end of your shift. Oh and go easy on the salad, it's not that bad." She replies laughing at me as she walks away to something I'm sure is much more interesting than salad.

_**Later that night... **_

After lunch the day didn't get any better. I had an afternoon full of charting, I kept reminding myself I should be glad because it meant no hurt mothers or babies needed to put them back together but it was just so hard to look past how _boring_ charting is. I raise my fist to knock on the blue door in front of me and its flung open almost immediately.

"What are you doing here?" Cristina snaps.

"Nice to see you too." I say as I step past her into the apartment.

"I'm here to meet Father Christmas, what do you think I'm here for?" I reply raising an eyebrow at her.

"She's not home and you can't stay here, I already told Callie that I need the apartment tonight."

"Oh hey your here." Callie announces her presence as she strides through the open door.

"She was just leaving, just like you are." Cristina speaks up, sounding more irritated by the second.

"Wha... ooh right." Callie says, a smirk forming on her lips.

"Come on." She says looking at me as she turns and walks out the door. I follow quickly a little confused. Once we're safely in the hallway the door slams behind us. I raise an eyebrow questioningly at Callie.

"She has a date with Owen. He's making her dinner. That's just her weird way of showing nerves." She laughs.

"So where now?"

In reply she turns and unlocks the door in front of her. As I step into the apartment she's already heading to the fridge to retrieve a beer for each of us. I look across the room to Mark who is on the couch looking at us curiously.

"We're here to figure out how to get Blondie back." I answer the unasked question as I sit on the lounge chair near him.

"Ok." He replies taking the offered drink from Callie as she sits down on the other end of the couch.

* * *

**[Arizona]**

The familiar burning feeling hits me as I place the shot glass back onto the bar, it's almost comforting. Almost. I wave Joe down to replace the rapidly emptying bottle in front of me before swigging back the remaining dregs of my beer. Fresh drink in hand I head back to the corner booth I have had claim over all night. Back to wallowing in my self deprecating thoughts. Back to Bradley Delson.

Ten years old. Ten years and eleven months today he told me proudly this afternoon when I visited him. His pride shining through all the sickness. Unfortunately for me pride would not be something I would feel today.

I smiled widely as he told me about the clown his mother promised to get for his birthday party in a months time. As he continues to chatter excitedly about his upcoming party his mother catches my eye. That's all it takes for her to know. There isn't going to be a party. I tried everything and now there's nothing left. Bradley is sick beyond my help.

This feeling of failure is slowly burning a hole in me. At least the tequila is a burn I can control. It's like this every time I deliver the words that take away their last ounce of hope. It burns and I know soon enough another tiny coffin will haunt me in my sleep because I wasn't enough.

A body sliding into the booth across from me snaps me out of my musings.

"Joe called me." Katey states as she places a beer in front of me. I push the now empty bottle in my hand to the side and take the full bottle gratefully.

"You wanna talk about it?" She prods lightly.

"It never gets easier. I keep hoping that one day I'll just become numb to it all."

"It'll get better." Katey says unsure of what exactly I'm talking about.

"I had to tell a mother today that I couldn't fix her son, that I couldn't do my job. He's only ten and even though I tried everything he's not even going to see his next birthday. Everyday feels like I'm fighting a losing battle and sometimes I wonder why I'm still fighting." I sigh, the exhaustion of the day's events sweeping over me.

"Ella Francis." She states. I haven't heard that name in years but she knows as well as I do the importance of Ella.

"You were a first year resident and you still had no clue what field you wanted to specialize in but the day you met Ella Francis was the day that all changed. You changed."

Ella Francis was one of my first patients during my peds rotation. She had been brought in when one morning she complained of a headache, the pain got worse rapidly and caused her to vomit. She loved to draw. Every time I saw her she was drawing something. I had just finished examining her and was updating her chart when I noticed she was drawing again but she was covering her left eye with her hand. Her parents told me she had been doing it more and more in the past few weeks. When I asked Ella about it she said she couldn't colour inside the lines when there were two pictures. A quick eye test and a MRI later confirmed Ella had double vision which was being caused by an ependymoma brain tumour. We took her into surgery that morning and the tumour was completely removed by the afternoon.

When I went to see her to do her Post Op she looked so happy. She was drawing without covering either of her eyes and with a huge smile on her face. When she spotted me she gave me a massive grin and practically started bouncing up and down in excitement. As I approached her she held out a piece of paper to me.

'This is for you Dr Robbins. I drew it with both my eyes!' She said proudly.

"When you came home that night, that picture clutched tightly in your hand, I knew something big had happened. You kept talking about the pure joy in that little girl's eyes. The joy that was there because you made it so she could draw again. That was the day you knew you wanted to specialize in peds, you wanted to help bring that joy to families. You wanted to make it your life's work to help the children when they couldn't help themselves. Everyday you give children their lives back and yes every now and then there is a child you can't save but your only human Zona."

"For every child you can't save there are hundreds that you do, you give all those families back their joy and that's more than most people could even dream of doing. I know for a fact that your office is full of evidence of the happiness you bring into people lives."

I feel the smile growing as I think of all the pictures and keepsakes that I keep in my office at work to remind everyday of the joy. My mind wanders to the one drawing I keep framed at home. The drawing Ella gave me that day, of the smiling blonde doctor surrounded by happy children.

"You're amazing Zona. In fact one might even say you're _unbelievably_ amazing." Katey says smirking playfully. My eyes widen at the hidden meaning in her words.

"Katey." I groan. Looking at me innocently she replies.

"What's wrong Zona? Was it something I said?"

"You know damn well." I pout.

After one particularly hurtful break up during college Katey took me to the local gay bar where we proceeded to get blind drunk. One thing led to another and well things got a little 'coyote ugly'. Namely Katey and I dancing. To Unbelievable by EMF. On the bar.

Thanks to our little performance we were well known in that particular bar. Since that night 'unbelievable' kind of became our song. Whenever we went through a break up or a rough patch in our lives we would have a few drinks and dance. It was our way of reminding each other that we're still alive.

"You love it." She says as she gets up and saunters over to the jukebox throwing an extra swing into her hips just for me. She studies the cds carefully before finding the desired track. She turns around, extends her arm and points straight at me before curling her finger back towards herself, beckoning me over. I wander over and I can't help the smug look on my face when I notice the envious looks I get from several men and women.

When I reach her I begin to sway my hips following her lead. As the riff picks up I step a little closer and roll my body against hers in time with the music. Fully feeling the effects of the alcohol now, I turn and push myself flush against her front. She rests her hands on my hips as we continue to grind against one another. I slide my way down and back up her body. Allowing myself a quick glance around the room I noticed we've gained a small audience, I can't help but feel a little proud that I can still gain this much attention by swinging my hips. This is what the dance is about, feeding off the music flowing through us and the eyes surrounding us devouring our every move.

All too soon the song is over but I feel more alive than I have since Callie. Turning around I smile widely at Katey.

"Thank you."

"Anytime babe. I think it might be time to leave now though." She says with a grin.

"The vultures are circling." She stage whispers, eyeing an overeager tipsy guy heading our way. I giggle all the way as she grabs my hand and pulls me though the crowd towards the exit.

* * *

**[Addison]**

I open the fridge and lean on the door as I inspect the contents.

"Marrrk" I whine. "You're out of beer."

"So go get some from Callie's." He replies not once taking his eyes off Callie's determined to beat her.

"No can do." Callie says laughing at his pathetic attempt to stare her down.

"The twisted sisters had a slumber party last night and they drank the apartment dry. I haven't had the chance to get to the shops yet." She explains.

Things had gotten a little off track when Mark decided that winning a staring contest would prove that his plan would work. His plan that consisted of Callie giving Arizona flowers then dragging her into an on call room to...well anyone could guess where Mark's mind was going. I watch them for a minute before deciding if we're going to get more alcohol it's obviously going to be up to me.

"Right well I need more alcohol to deal with you two." I state, rolling my eyes at their childish game before grabbing my purse and walking out the door.

I pull my coat tightly around myself as I step out if the apartment building. I walk the short distance down the street to the convenience store.

I'm stepping out of the store purchase in hand when I see it.

There right across the street from the store is Arizona stumbling out of Joe's her arm wrapped tightly around the waist of an athletic brunette, who had her arm slung over Arizona's shoulder. I quickly step back into the shadows afraid to be spotted. As they stand outside the bar the brunette wraps her arms possessively around Arizona's shoulders, who in turn rest her head in the crook of the taller woman's neck. I can't tear my eyes away from them as Arizona laughs at something the brunette whispers in her ear.

Part of me wants to confront her, ask her what the hell she thinks she's playing at, leading Callie on to believe she has some sort of chance while messing around with someone else on the side. The thought of Callie back at the apartment, making elaborate plans to win back the love of her life, makes my stomach churn. What if Callie pours her heart and soul out only to find she's missed her chance? She'll never recover from that and I don't think I could see her look so crushed again. I step forward intending to give the blonde a piece of my mind when a taxi pulls up blocking them from view. A moment later it drives away and they're gone.

I sigh, turning to make my way back up to the apartment. On the walk back I have plenty of time to contemplate whether I should tell Callie the truth and have her hate me or if I should just wait and let her get crushed by herself.

As I step back into the apartment I'm met with cheering, drunk cheering, not exactly the welcome back I was expecting.

I look at both of them shocked. Mark is slumped across the couch his head in Callie's lap as she sways in her seat, an half empty tequila bottle swinging dangerously from her left hand.

"You missed the fun!" She slurs.

"Mark couldn't out stare me so he had to sneak into my apartment to see if Cr...Cris..._Cristina_ had a secret stash." She says practically yelling Cristina's name when she can finally wrap her lips around it.

The sudden change in noise level causes Mark to jerk awake. His eyes widen as he sees the bottle Callie is still clutching.

"Jesus Cal, you've nearly finished the other bottle!"

"Other bottle??" I question glaring at Mark.

He nods as he holds up an empty bottle that had been lying next to the couch.

"Mark! We were supposed to be helping her not getting her drunk!"

'Well not that drunk' I think to myself.

"I'm fine and I know exactly what I'm going to say to Arizona." Callie insists.

"Oooh I should call her! She needs to know how much she means to me." She slurs as she stumbles over to her purse.

"No no no no." I say, quickly grabbing the purse before she can reach it.

"You're not calling anyone. In fact I'm taking you to bed right now, you need to sleep this off."

"You're not even going to buy me dinner first?" She laughs at her own joke. I just roll my eyes.

"Come on time to go home." I say as she leans on me for support.

"See you tomorrow." I throw over my shoulder to Mark, who is already slumped over on the couch again.

After much stumbling and giggling, mainly by Callie, I manage to get Callie into her room and on her bed. I lean down and remove her shoes before repositioning her and pulling the covers over her.

"Do you think she'll take me back Addy?" She asks so quietly I almost don't hear her.

"I hope so Cal, I hope so." I reply truthfully.

"I...I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't." She sounds so meek and the tears swelling in her eyes make my heart ache.

I can't help but think back to what I saw earlier and my heart breaks for the woman in front of me. I lie down beside her and wrap my arms around her as the tears begin to slide down her cheeks. I hold her tightly doing my best to comfort her, wishing I could take away the pain, but I know I can't and I know the only one who can may be the very person who breaks her for good.


	5. Gossip & Interruptions

**Summary: **We know they're made for each other but will they be able to make it work? Callie has security issues. Will she be able to work through them before she loses Arizona for good? Set before the baby drama.  
**Disclaimer: **All things Grey's belong to Shonda. I'm just messing around in her playground. Katey is the only one that is an original creation of my imagination. Everything and everyone else is simply being borrowed.  
**Beta:** Many Thanks to **coliebearz **over at livejournalfor helping out while **wicca678** has been away.

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who commented on any of the past chapters, your comment love is a great source of motivation for me. To anyone who has been reading but not commenting, thanks for reading! Please feel free to express your opinions, any feedback given can be useful and will help me improve my writing.

Also I realize that so far this hasn't been the happiest story but I do promise there are happy times on the horizon! So please bear with me and we'll make it through this :)

* * *

**[Arizona]**

A comfortable silence has fallen over us as we eat our lunch. I stare out the cafeteria window making a mental list of the things I have to get done before I can go home tonight.

"I'm a threat." Katey says, breaking the silence.

I turn my attention back to Katey, confusion clearly written across my face as I stare at her from across the table.

"What?" I question.

"I'm a threat." She repeats slowly, looking proud, like she's just won some big award.

I raise my eyebrows slightly while leaning forward in my seat. She takes my hint to elaborate, glances quickly to her right and gives a subtle nod. I turn to my left and it's easy to spot what she was indicating. Mark Sloan, Addison Montgomery and, much to Owen's dismay, Cristina Yang are all glaring at our table like they've just been told we were the only ones in the hospital allowed coffee.

"Oh come on," I mumble.

As they see me looking they all turn back to their meals but none of them really bother to try and cover the fact that they were staring. Owen sends me quick apologetic look.  
I look back at Katey to see her looking smug.

"Really? You're gloating about adding to the rumours about my love life?" I say feeling somewhat irritated by the gossiping that once was so handy.

"Do you reckon they'll let me make up my own back story? They're always so lazy with the back story. It's always some whore from your last job who's followed you here to pursue you no matter your relationship." She sighs.

"I want to be Katey the photographer whore from Ireland, who met you when you were holidaying in Fiji and took tasteful nude photos of you on the beach. When you left I followed you here to pursue you no matter your relationship." She finished looking wistful.

"You've never even been to Ireland or Fiji and neither have I." I point out.

"Doesn't matter," she replies. "It's my back story and I'll go where I want to."

"What about your accent?" I retort.

"I lost it during my years of traveling America in search of you." she replies immediately with a grin.

I can't help but laugh at her imagination.

"Mind if I join you?" A voice interrupts.

I look to up see Teddy smiling down at us.

"No problem," I say returning her smile. "I can use as many friends as I can get these days."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," she replies as she sits down next to me.

"Judge for yourself." Katey speaks up, nodding to her right again.

Teddy glances to her left, catching the three musketeers watching our table again.  
"Ah. Well I suppose the staff here isn't really known for their maturity or subtlety." She says, shaking her head at the three doctors.

"I don't believe we've met…" She trails off looking at Katey.

"Oh, right, sorry! Katey meet Teddy Altman, head of cardio. Teddy this is..."

"Kate Beechly the loving, talented, single, loyal, best friend of Zona here." Katey interrupts giving Teddy her best smile while reaching across the table to grasp her hand.

You've got to be freaking kidding me, today is the first day she's come to the hospital and she's already flirting with the one of the few friends I have here! I should throw her to Bailey and see who implodes first, hmm probably not… the hospital needs Bailey. Maybe Cristina? That could be dangerous... she'd probably try and kill Katey. Although Katey does have a fiery temper that could probably match Cristina's dark and twistiness. A fight between them really would be the fight of the century. If I wasn't so anti-pointless-fighting I'd totally pay to see that. Of course, Cristina would have to be checked for any hidden weapons, I wouldn't be surprised if she had a scalpel hidden on her somewhere right now...

The sound of my pager knocks me out of that strange train of thought.

"I've got to go. I'll see you later." I announce as I rise from the table. As I walk around the table towards the exit I rest a hand on Katey's shoulder and lean down to whisper in her ear.

"Behave yourself."

With that I stride purposefully out of the cafeteria not looking back at the smirk that I know is gracing Katey's delicate features.

* * *

**[Callie] **

Finally, I've managed to find a minute to have lunch. I need coffee. As I walk into the cafeteria Cristina and Owen rush out, presumably to eat each others' faces in the nearest on-call room. Once I grab my lunch and my much needed coffee I scan the room for somewhere to sit. Spotting Mark and Addison, I quickly make my way over to them.

As I get closer I realize they seem to be in the middle of a heated discussion and they keep sending glances across the room to a table occupied by Teddy and a cute brunette I don't recognize. I'm close enough to hear them now; I listen in, eager to hear what has Mark bristling.

"You're sure it was them?" He questions leaning over the table slightly.

"Yes! I know what I saw, it was them and they were all over each other!" Addison hisses.

"Who are you talking about?" I say as I dropping into the seat beside Addison, causing her to jump in fright and Mark to choke on his drink.

"Jesus Cal! Are trying to give me a heart attack?" Addison accuses, clutching a hand over her heart.

"So who's the woman with Teddy?" I question keen to hear some gossip that isn't about me for once.

"Her? I'm err not sure." Mark replies trying to brush off my question.

"Oh come on Mark you're dating the woman and you don't know who the cute brunette she's having lunch with is?" I tease. Addy looked like she grimaced at my words but I can't tell because if she did she was quick to cover it up by taking a long drink from the coffee cup in front of her.

"We've only gone out on two dates." Mark grumbles.

"What is it about her that's got you so...weird?" I say frowning at Mark.

My eyes keep flicking between the two of them as I wait for an answer.

"Fine. Maybe I'll go introduce myself then." I say as I begin to get up.

"She's an old friend of Teddy's," Addison jumps in before I can get out of my seat.

"Teddy introduced her to Mark but she didn't seem to like him." She blurts looking apologetically at Mark, who in turn is looking at Addison like she's grown another head.

"Oh. She'll come around..." I try.

"I don't want to talk about it." He practically growls while glaring at Addy sternly. Addy, in turn, refuses to meet his eyes instead opting to stare at the coffee cup in front of her.

"How are you feeling?" She enquires, suddenly desperate to change the subject.

"How are you even out of bed?" Mark says disbelieving.

"I'm fine. Coffee and painkillers are my friends." I say with a smile.

"You out drank Mark!" Addison points out.

"I wouldn't say out drank…"

"You were slumped over the couch passed out when we left." Addison retorts causing Mark to pout.

"It was worth it." I state.

"Worth it? You woke up this morning and announced you were never leaving your bed again. Seriously you drank so much I'm surprised you're not in intensive care right now." Addy admonishes.

I simply shrug and reply.

"I'm a Torres. We have a high tolerance level for these sorts of things."

"So…worth it?" Mark interrupts Addison, staring at me incredulously and reminding me of my original point.

"I know what I have to do." I announce confidently.

When they continue to silently watch me I decide to elaborate.

"To fix things with Arizona."

"So you've come to your senses and decided my plan is the way to go?" Mark teases.

"Yeah, right." I scoff.

"I'm going to tell her everything, my fears, my hopes, the reasons I keep running and the reasons I want to stay. I'm going to be completely honest, no more hiding." I watch carefully for their reactions. Now that I've said it out loud I can feel the fear creeping up again.

"So when are you going to make this grand speech?" Addison asks. She almost sounds as nervous as I feel.

"As soon as I find her, I can't leave it for another day." I reply.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you know what the gossip mill is like around here. What if it doesn't go the way you plan?" She asks cautiously, doubt lacing her voice.

I've thought about birthdays, amazing surgeries, holidays, meeting each other's families properly, making our own family, making a home and a life together. The thought of doing all that without Arizona comes into my mind and my heart aches. I have to remind myself that she wants me to fight and while she does there's still a chance that we could have the future I've dreamed about. There's still a chance. I have to fight.

"I can't leave this any longer Addison. I need to do this today. If I don't do it today…I…I might be too late. So yeah, if it means getting Arizona back I'm willing to put up with a little gossip."

Addy looks desperately at Mark, who shakes his head and gives her a warning glare. They both speak at the same time.

"Cal, there's something I need to tell you."

"Don't do this Addison."

But all I hear is the shrill beeping of my pager.

"I've got to go…911. I'll see you guys later." I say before downing the rest of my coffee and jumping up from my seat.

In my rush to answer the page I miss the identical nervous looks worn by Addison and Mark.

* * *

Unfortunately, a pile up on the freeway kept me busy for the rest of the day, leaving me with no free time to find Arizona. I'm not going to let it discourage me though. Maybe Addison was right; maybe it's better that I didn't talk to her at work, I mean the nurses already talk about us enough as it is. I probably would have just added to the gossip mill by making some speech in the hospital.

The night is young, I'm not on call, and after some snooping around I know Arizona should have left work a little over two hours ago. This is it. I've been giving myself pep-talks all day and now finally I'm going to tell her exactly how I feel. I stride across the lobby and, for the first time since we broke up, I'm walking tall.

The cold wind bites at my skin as I step out into the car park.

"Callie." A voice calling out from somewhere behind me causes me to pause.

I turn to see Addison walking quickly to catch up to me.

"Hey." She puffs out when she reaches me.

"Hey." I reply. I watch her for a minute, wondering if she actually had a reason for stopping me.

"Want to join me for a drink at Joe's?" She eventually asks.

I shake my head and reply.

"I'm going to Arizona's. I need to fix this tonight."

"You'll be needing a shot of Dutch courage then." She replies quickly while grabbing my arm and setting off towards Joe's.

I stop abruptly, pulling my arm out of her grasp when she continues trying to tug me towards the bar.

I look at her, a frown creasing my forehead. When she doesn't turn back to me I decide to break the silence that's fallen over us.

"What's going on Addison?"

With a sigh she turns to face me.

"Aren't you afraid?"

"Terrified." I admit with a small smile.

"What if you can't fix it, what if it's too late?" She questions, worry shining in her eyes.

"At least then I'll know." I reply softly. I've been trying not to think about that possibility.

"It's just...you're my best friend Cal, I don't want to see you run off just to get hurt again." She looks like she wants to say more but instead she chews on her lip nervously.

"I can't go on not knowing if there was a chance Addison. I need to try, even if it is too late. I need to know I tried." I say, my eyes pleading her to understand.

She watches me for a moment longer while deciding how to respond.

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Ok. Go show roller girl she was a fool to ever let you go. Go find your answer." She says with a small nod and an encouraging smile.

I give her a wide smile before turning and striding purposefully down the road.

* * *

I go over the speech I've been working on for the past week in my head for the thousandth time as I wait impatiently for the elevator to reach her floor. The bell dings and the doors slide open. For a moment I freeze in fear of the possibilities before practically jumping out of the metal box as the doors begin to shut again. It takes me several minutes to work up the courage just to knock. When I finally do, I hear footsteps approaching before the door quickly swings open.

"Calliope." She gasps in surprise.

"Hi." I reply with a small smile.

She moves to the side, allowing me inside. I step into the apartment but don't go very far, unsure if she actually wanted me to come inside or if she was merely being polite. She closes the door behind me and comes to stand in front of me. I'm momentarily overwhelmed by the sadness I see in her blue eyes and it sickens me to think I caused her so much pain.

"What are you doing here?" She asks cautiously when the silence becomes too much for her to bear.

"You're wrong." I finally blurt.

"What are you..." She tries to interrupt but I continue, speaking over her.

"You were always the most important. You still are." Now that I've begun I can't stop; I need her to know, to understand.

"I was scared. I'm completely in love with you and it terrifies me because I've been hurt in the past. George and Erica both broke my heart and I know you're not either of them but if I lose you, I don't think my heart will ever recover. So I ran away, because I was so scared of the power you have over me." I pause for breath before continuing.

"You're the first and last thing I think of everyday. I can't live without you and I don't want to try."

I watch her eyes carefully, hoping to see something that will tell me what she's thinking.

Out of the corner of my eye I see movement across the room. My eyes widen in shock when they fall upon the brunette, the tall, athletic, legs from here to eternity brunette, as she walks out of Arizona's bathroom, shirtless, drying her hair with a towel.

"Zona have you seen my black shirt?" It's when she speak up that I realize where I've seen her before. She's the cute brunette Teddy was having lunch with. The piano player from the bar. The one Arizona was watching and exchanging glances with before I found her in the bathroom. Before she gave me hope that there could still be an "us."

She watches me in confusion as my eyes widen and a pained look settles upon my face. Slowly she turns her head to the source of the voice.

I can't stand there any longer; a hundred different thoughts are racing through my brain and none of them good. I race out the door not caring as it slams behind me. All I can think about is how while I was thinking I had a chance to fix things, Arizona was already moving on.

I run straight past the elevator, taking the stairs instead. I just need to get out. I feel like I can't breathe; I need to get outside into the fresh air. My heart is thudding in my throat, I try to breathe around it but my ragged gasps barely get any air to my lungs.

Finally I reach the bottom of the stairs. I shove the door open and race through the front doors of the apartment building, gasping in the cold night air. I keep moving, afraid that if I don't my legs will give way. I manage to stumble two blocks before I realize I'm heading in the wrong direction. My whole body feels like lead as I lean against the wall next to me. I can feel the cold stone through my jacket as I slowly slide to the ground, my legs unable to hold the extra weight on my heart any longer. I pull my knees to my chest trying to hide from the world as the sobs begin wracking my body.

This whole time I've been thinking that maybe I could fix us, maybe we could have the future together I had dreamed of. When whole time she's been moving on, making a new life for herself. Usually I try to avoid the gossip mill that runs through the hospital but now I wish I had paid more attention. Maybe then I could have saved myself the embarrassment of making some stupid speech and confessing my undying love for someone who just felt sorry for me.

* * *

**[Arizona]  
**  
"You're the first and last thing I think of everyday. I can't live without you and I don't want to try."

My heart swells at her words. I want nothing more than to close the small distance between us and show her how much I love her. That I need her just as much as she needs me. But I need to know she's not going to run away again. I know it might seem silly but I need to hear her say it out loud. I'm about to say as much when her eyes widen. I watch her confused as she stares across my living room in dismay, tears springing to her hazel eyes. I spin around determined to find what has upset her. It's easy to spot the disturbance.

"Zona have you seen my black shirt?"

Katey. Fresh out of the shower. Shirtless. In my living room. It doesn't take a genius to see where Callie's mind has leapt.

The front door slams somewhere behind me knocking me out of my mini panic attack. My head snaps around to look at the door hoping it was just my mind playing tricks on me, that Callie was actually still in my apartment. I couldn't be so lucky.

"Shit. Sorry I didn't realize you had company. Was that who I think it was?" Katey trails off.

"Yes Kate that was indeed the love of my life, who now is probably never going to speak to me again because you couldn't put a fucking shirt on!" I snap before flinging the door open and racing after Callie. I know I probably shouldn't have snapped at Katey, she didn't even know Callie was there, but things between us were so close to being fixed and now it's all come tumbling down again.

I take the steps two at a time, jumping the last few steps at every landing in an effort to catch up to her. I'm thankful I'm not wearing my heelies, a broken ankle would really not be helpful in this situation, especially since the person I would want to treat me probably wouldn't want to touch me.

I push open the door to the apartment block rushing out into the dark night, hissing at the cold concrete under my bare feet. Desperately I search up and down the street for any sign of her.

Nothing.

* * *

**[Callie]**

It feels like I've been curled up against that wall for hours when a familiar voice calls my name.

"Callie?" It repeats.

I suppose it was too much to hope for a moment of peace. I reluctantly lift my head, afraid to show anyone how broken I am.

"Oh god Callie what happened?" Lexie whispers as she rushes to my side.

"It's nothing. I'm fine..." I mumble biting my lip trying desperately to hold back the flood of emotions rising in me.

She just watches me unsure what she should do. In any other situation Little Grey lost for words would be comical but it's all I can do to squeeze my eyes shut as the flood overwhelms me.

"I...it's over. She's moved on. I...I've...I've really lost her." I stutter out as the images of the tall brunette attack my senses. I bury my head in my arms once again and I feel Lexie hesitantly rub my back in a soothing gesture. Soon she's sitting next to me one arm wrapped around my back and the other grasping my clenched hands as I break down into a whimpering mess.

Hours could have passed and I wouldn't have been any the wiser. Slowly I rest my head on her shoulder and try to concentrate on my breathing. We remain like that for awhile as I continue to try and control my breathing.

Eventually I have to move to stop my neck from cramping. The movement causes Lexie to quickly remove her arm from around me and sits up straighter. Unconsciously she shuffles, creating a gap between us as the awkwardness of the situation settles on us. Finally, unable to contain herself any longer, she breaks the silence.

"Are you ok? Do you want me to call someone? I mean, it's just…I know we're not that close, you're Mark's friend. So if you want me to call Addison or even Mark I totally understand..." She trails off from her ramble.

"I...no. It's fine. I'm fine. I think I just want to go home." I manage to whisper.

"Ok." She replies with nod.

"Thank you." I mumble staring at the ground in front of me, embarrassed that I broke down in front of Little Grey.

She gives a smile before standing and offering her hand to me.

"Come on, I'll give you a lift home."

* * *

**[Arizona]**

I stand there inspecting the street hoping to spot something I missed the first hundred times. Something, anything to indicate which way she went.

After searching the street for what seems like the millionth time I realize she's probably long gone by now. Reluctantly, I head back up to my apartment, deciding to move before my feet get frostbite.

As I open the door to my apartment, Katey jumps up from the couch obviously having been waiting for me to return. Her shoulders slump a little when she realizes I'm alone.

"I'm so sorry Zona. I had no idea she was here, if I did I never would have..." Katey begins apologizing before I interrupt her.

"It's ok." I interrupt, frowning at the floor.

"Zona." She murmurs. I can tell she wants to comfort me but I just need to be alone right now. I glance at her quickly before speaking.

"I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning." I mutter before walking past her into my room, shutting the door quietly behind me.

I curl up in the middle of my bed, clutching a pillow to my chest, wishing it would cushion the pain in my heart.


	6. Support & Resolution

**Summary: **We know they're made for each other but will they be able to make it work? Callie has security issues. Will she be able to work through them before she loses Arizona for good? Set before the baby drama.  
**Disclaimer: **All things Grey's belong to Shonda. Katey is the only one that is an original creation of my imagination. Everything and everyone else is simply being borrowed. No profit is being made from this story, I'm simply writing for fun. No copyright infringement intended.  
**Beta:** Thanks to Wicca678 over at Livejournal for the support and always getting back to me so fast!

**A/N:** So I'm finally back to writing. I took an unexpected hiatus due to some emotionally hard times but on the up side I've now got a new job which has given me new life. Hopefully I'll be back to writing regularly as long as my job and my muse allows it. I really want to see this story through to the end so just in case there is another unavoidable lapse in writing I want you all to know that I have no intention to leave you hanging, this story will get a happy ending.

**

* * *

**

**[Arizona]**

The next morning I wake to the sound of pots and pans clattering around in the kitchen. Slowly I rise and wander out to find the source of the commotion.

"Oh hey." Katey smiles at me from her position in front of the stove.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok. I needed to get up for work anyway. What are you doing?" I question as I sit at the small dining table.

"Making breakfast." She replies casually as she places a delicious smelling cup of coffee in front of me.

"Breakfast." I raise an eyebrow at her as she continues to move around the kitchen.

"Since when do you make breakfast?"

"Since I stuffed things up for you last night." She states.

I open my mouth to argue that it wasn't her fault but she cuts me off before i get the chance to speak.

"I figured the least I could do was make sure you had plenty of energy when you go and win back the girl." She says with a smile and a small nod.

"Katey…"

"Babe last night was not the end of it. You can still find her and explain. She can't avoid you forever, not if you're actively looking for her. I should know, you always did beat me at hide and seek." She cuts me off with a small pout.

"Yeah well maybe you should've learnt to hide better." I smirk.

"Great so it's settled. Now go have a shower cause frankly you smell." She says shooing me away from the kitchen.

"Wait what? What just happened? What's settled?" I say giving her a bewildered look.

"You always were a little slow on the uptake." Katey sighs before laughing at the childish frown I give her.

"Ok here's the game plan. You are going to go shower, I'm going to finish cooking this lovely breakfast, we are going to eat it, then you are going to go to work full of energy and smelling nice. Once there you are going to find Callie and sort out this whole misunderstanding. You two will do the whole happily ever after thing and I'll be your spinster best friend, oohhh maybe I could be a crazy cat lady!" She finishes looking determined and a little too excited.

She puts her hand out in front of her.

"Ready team?" She looks at me expectantly.

"Come on Zona, There's no I in team." She says nodding at her hand.

I can't help but laugh at her antics before placing my hand on top of hers. I receive a wide smile in return.

"Ready? Break!"

* * *

**[Callie]**

Bloodshot eyes stare at me from within the bathroom mirror. I cup my hands under the running tap before throwing the warm water over my face. Rubbing my eye vigorously I attempt to remove some of the puffiness that has occurred over the course of the night. Sighing, I realize it's a lost cause. Quickly I finish getting ready for work wanting this day to be over as soon as possible.

Walking into the living room I'm met with the sight of my roommate scoffing down the last of her cereal. She grunts a greeting. After grabbing a bowl from the cupboard I pick up the cereal box only to realize it's empty.

"You ate all the cereal again." I grumble the obvious.

"So go buy some more." She replies in a monotone voice.

Rolling my eyes I turn and start making some coffee. Having finished the last of the cereal Cristina grabs her bag and heads to the front door.

"Oh and since you're already going shopping, we need more milk."

"Great." I sigh as she snaps the door shut behind her.

Searching the cupboards for something to eat I find what's left of a loaf of bread that is growing mold and something that I think used to be a fruit of some sort.

The front door swings open and I couldn't be happier with the sight before me.

"How much do you love me?" Mark smirks holding up a tray of coffees in one hand and what smells like the best toasted sandwiches in the world in his other hand.

Taking a seat at the breakfast bar he hands over one of the coffees and a sandwich. Quickly unwrapping the sandwich I have to suppress a groan of delight when I take the first bite. Soon enough the rest of the sandwich is gone and I'm happily sipping on my coffee, the pain of last night temporarily forgotten.

"Lexie called me." Mark states and suddenly the agony comes rushing back.

"You're talking again, that's good." I say avoiding eye contact.

"I mean that's what you want right? Because you still love her" I continue unable to stop my voice from cracking.

"That's not why she called and you know it. She was worried about you. What happened Cal?" He asks softly.

"She's seeing someone else." I whisper willing the tears I feel building to go away.

In a second he's around the counter and wrapping me in his strong arms. After a minute or so he pulls back slightly and asks.

"Do you want to have rebound sex?"

"MARK!" I yell hitting him in the shoulder.

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't offer?" He says laughing. Rolling my eyes at his antics I can't help but let out a small chuckle.

Slowly his expression becomes serious.

"She's a fool Cal." He says sincerely and it warms me to hear the love in his voice.

"If she can't see how much she's lost then it's her loss."

"Thanks Mark but it doesn't make it hurt any less." I reply as the tears start to well up again. I feel the frustration growing at my inability to stop crying.

"Don't Cal, don't cry for her. She brought this upon herself when she started playing games with you so she doesn't deserve to have you crying over her. She doesn't deserve you and you don't need her." He tells me firmly.

I nod feeling better, stronger. I have a newfound determination to face the day, to show the world that I won't be defeated. She did this to us, I tried to make it work. She did this.

"Walk tall Torres." Mark encourages with a wide grin.

* * *

**[Arizona]**

It takes a surprisingly small amount of time to track down Calliope once I arrive at work. I find her standing next to the nurse's station going over a chart. I take a moment to silently watch her from across the hall. I let my eyes roam over her raven locks, pulled back into a pony tail, her eyes focused intently on the chart in her hands, my eyes travel down to her lips as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth before scribbling something on the chart. I take a deep breath, square my shoulders and walk determinedly towards her.

"Hey, can we talk? We need to talk. Or more like I need to talk and I need you to listen because what you saw last night wasn't..."

"Do you have a case for me Dr. Robbins?" She interrupts. Her voice is cold, stern, not at all the voice of the woman I fell in love with.

My brow furrows in confusion as she catches me off guard with her seemingly random question.

"Umm no I wanted to..." I reply trying to get her to listen to what I have to say before she cuts me off again.

"Then we have nothing to discuss. From now on we do not talk because I'm done with this." She says with a stony tone of voice, waving her hand between us.

"So in the future unless you have a case for me, don't bother wasting my time." She speaks sharply, leaving no room for argument by turning and striding away from me.

That was not the reaction I was expecting. Calliope is always passionate in everything she does, it's one of the many reasons I fell so hard for her. When she feels something she feels it fully. When she cries she cries her heart out and when we make love it feels like she's bearing her soul. I was expecting her to cry, to yell and scream but for her act so cold and unfeeling, this isn't the Calliope I know and it terrifies me.

* * *

**[Arizona]**

After my run in with Calliope earlier today she practically vanished. For the rest of the day I spent every spare second I had searching for her but to no avail. So now it's the end of my shift and I'm doing the only thing I can think of, camping outside her apartment until she talks to me. I'm just leaving the hospital when a voice sounds from somewhere behind me.

"I need a word with you Robbins."

Sighing I turn around to face Addison. She looks angry, somehow I get the feeling my day is about to get a whole lot worse.

"Look I get it ok, you want me to stay away from her but I love Calliope so..." I say trying to cut off any lecture I'm about to be given.

"Oh give it a rest!" She interrupts.

"You know I honestly didn't think you had it in you to be so two faced but I guess you're just full of surprises!"

"Excuse me?" I cry indignantly.

"Who the hell do you think you are to go around playing with her emotions?"

"I wasn't..."

"She has been planning all week, trying to get everything just right. As far as she was concerned it wasn't just her last chance with you but her last shot at happiness. All that planning and for what? To find out you've been too busy screwing around with some other woman to give her a second thought!"

With every word she speaks I can feel my irritation growing. I'm sick of it, all of it. It's not just Addison, it's the nurses, my colleges, even the residents I'm suppose to be teaching. It's the stares, the constant whispering, the glaring when they think I'm not looking. All the people who think they know my life, that they know me, that the gossip they know gives them the right to judge me when in reality they don't have a clue.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I spit venomously.

"I know what I saw!" She practically hisses.

"I saw you at Joe's. You were all over each other. Whatever you were thinking about that night, it sure as hell wasn't Callie."

* * *

**[Callie]**

This has to some sort of sick joke. It can't be real, the world can't be this cruel surely? It can't be true, I misheard her.

"You knew!" I question desperately. I need her to tell me she had no idea. I need to know there's still someone out there that I can trust.

She spins around to face me, her surprise evident on her face.

"I...I'm so sorry Cal..." her eyes are riddled with guilt.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why would you let me go there knowing I was going to humiliate myself?" I cry the anger building rapidly inside of me.

"We were going to..." I Mark speaks up from beside me to defend Addison.

"You were so determined to take a leap of faith for a chance at happiness, none of us wanted to be the one to take away your hope."

"None of us? Who else knew Mark?" I snap as the anger boils over at the thought.

His eyes dart away from mine briefly before he eventually mumbles.

"Yang and Hunt."

"Great. Just great!" My voice rises with every word.

"You may has well have told the entire hospital yourself!" I yell.

"No puedo creer que usted! How could you do this to me?" I continue to shout, at this point I don't care who hears.

"Cal we didn't want to see you get hurt. We love you, I love you. You're my best friend, I would do anything if it meant you wouldn't get hurt." Addison says trying to reason with me. She holds her hands in front of her in surrender as she takes a step toward me. I take a step away from them both, pointing an accusing finger at them.

"You should have thought about that before you humiliated me by making my life the newest bit of entertainment for those vultures!" I growl pointing at the hospital.

"Cal.." Mark begins.

"No! You betrayed me. You're supposed to be my friends."

"We are!" He insists.

"No, you're not. Not anymore." I say clenching my jaw as his eyes widen.

They both look like my words have physically wounded them but I don't care because it's nothing compared to the hurt that's coursing though my veins, filling every inch of my body with pain.

I stare coldly at them before turning and practically running towards my apartment. I feel the tears dripping bitterly down my face, leaving cold tracks in their wake.

* * *

**[Arizona]**

Hurt, anger, desperation and despair all filter across her beautiful hazel eyes as the only support beams that are left holding her life together are knocked clean from under her. I want to scream until my throat is hoarse that they've all got it wrong, that this has all been a huge misunderstanding but the pain in her eyes shakes me to the core. It's all I can do to watch as if in slow motion everything comes tumbling down around her.

When she denounces their friendship it hits me. All of this is my fault. The last two people she thought would ever break her trust have done just that, because they were trying to protect her from me. None of this would be happening if I hadn't pushed her to prove her love. If I had just trusted her and her love for me we wouldn't be here now. She wouldn't think that I betrayed her. Addison and Mark wouldn't have had to lie to protect her and she wouldn't be losing everyone she has gradually learnt to trust.

It all leads back to me, pushing her to fight for us when I should have been helping her fix us. I've ruined her life without even trying.

* * *

**[Callie]**

A voice calls my name from somewhere behind me but I keep moving. Suddenly a feminine hand wraps around my wrist pulling me to a halt. I turn ready to tear Addison apart for lying to me but I falter at the sight of blonde hair. In my anger I had completely forgotten she was even there and now here she is standing in front of me her eyes ablaze with concern.

I don't need concern from her of all people and I don't need her pretending to care about my broken life.

Flinching, I jerk my hand out of her grasp. A pained look covers her elegant features.

"Calliope." She begs. My full name always sounded so beautiful whenever it came from her lips but now it's like nails on a chalkboard screeching about the happy past I'll never forget and the blissful future I'll never remember.

With one word she's asking so much. For a chance to explain, to fix things between us, to fix me. It's too late though. I can't take that risk. I've already taken too many chances only to have them blow up in my face. I can't jump when I can't trust her to be there to catch me. Not anymore. I'm done taking chances. I'm done.

With one word she's asking too much.

It only takes two simple words to make her understand. Two words spoken barely above a whisper before I turn away from what could have been forever.

"It's Callie."

* * *

**[Arizona]**

I like to fix things, fix people, but even I have no idea how to fix this. Yet here I am, grasping Calliope's hand in the hope that she'll let me repair the damage I've caused. She flinches ripping her hand away from me and she may have as well ripped my heart right from my chest.

"Calliope." I plead. She holds back a grimace and I feel any shred of hope I have left fading.

Two words and I know there's nothing I can do anymore. It's over.

"It's Callie."

The ache in my chest grows with every step she takes away from me. She is the only cure for my heartache but I fear this is a burden I will have to learn to live with.

I continue to stand there under a lonely street lamp for what feels like an eternity, unable to bring myself to move. Rain begins to pound on the pavement around me and I look up to the clouds silently asking the universe why it feels the need to play such cruel jokes on me. Sighing I close my eyes and feel the rain drenching my skin, hoping that maybe just maybe it will wash away the pain. Opening my eyes I find myself staring up at an all too familiar window. As the light spilling from the apartment disappears I whisper into the darkness.

"I'm so sorry."

* * *

**[Callie]**

I don't think I've ever been so happy to come home to an empty apartment. Walking over to the stereo I plug my ipod in and press play on my dark and twisty playlist. Soon enough a heavy beat and strong riffs fill the apartment. This is the playlist I keep for times when I'm sick of the world I live in, when I have all these negative emotions pent up and I need an outlet. Dancing it out to these songs and occasionally singing along to a deserted room has always helped me feel better. Last time Cristina and Meredith walked in when I was right in the middle of dancing it out. They simply pulled out a bottle of tequila and a few shot glasses before joining in. No words had been needed, they knew what it was about. It was just after Erica left without a word.

My stomach jolts painfully at the realization that I haven't needed this playlist since a certain perky blue-eyed surgeon kissed me in a dirty bar bathroom. Unconsciously my eyes flick to the picture frame next to the stereo, a picture from when we were still in our happy little bubble and nothing bad could touch us. My heart clenches painfully and tears spring to my eyes once more as I pick up the frame, mesmerized by the blonde goddess.

I'm so sick of crying. I'm sick of feeling helpless, of being reminded of what we were and what we could have been. I hate that even though she's gone she still has so much control over me. No more. She did this to us not me. I'm taking back my life. I grip the picture frame tightly and have to fight the urge to throw it against the wall. Instead I grab a box from the cupboard and begin purging the apartment of anything Arizona left behind, I refuse to be controlled by the constant reminders. Drawing energy from the music blasting out of my stereo I quickly collect up anything that I was previously using to hold onto my relationship with Arizona including more photos that were hanging up around my room, her old college jumper, a bottle of her favourite shampoo and the lion king mug she drank her coffee out of every morning. Grabbing a beer from the fridge I drop down onto the couch and stare at the box sitting on the coffee table.

I don't need her; I was fine before I'll be fine now. Bitterly I realize that I no longer have Addison or Mark to lean on like I did during my previous break-ups. It's ok though I don't need them either. I build legs like god and create cartilage from jelly, I don't need any of them. I'll be fine.

Raising the bottle to my lips I take a long swig and my new mantra repeats like a broken record in my head. Hopefully if I keep reciting it maybe, just maybe, this once it'll come true.

I'm going to be just fine.

* * *

**[Katey]**

The apartment is freezing and I can hear the storm louder than ever. The sight of curtains billowing in the wind draws my attention. There, sitting out on the balcony, cigarette in hand in Zona. By the half a pack that has already found its way into the ashtray I'm guessing her talk with Callie didn't go so well. I'm half way to the balcony doors when I notice the glass in her hand. A quick search of the table confirms my fears. Sitting next to the ashtray is a seemingly innocent bottle of scotch and it would be innocent for almost anyone but Arizona Robbins.

The last time Zona drank scotch was the day she stood in an airplane hanger and watched as six men she didn't know unloaded Dakota's coffin. That night she opened the fifty-year-old bottle of scotch she had been planning to give to him when he returned home. It was that very same bottle that was currently residing on the balcony table, torturing me with its presence. It hits me just how much their relationship means to Arizona, to anyone else this would just look like someone trying drink away their problems but I know better, I know this is Arizona mourning.

I put a hand on her bare shoulder trying to get her attention. Her skin is like ice. Looking down I realize her clothing is soaked through and clinging to her every curve. She raises a shaking hand to take another long drag from the cigarette that is being gripped tightly between her fingers like a lifeline.

"Arizona! Babe, look at me." I plead.

Finally she responds, turning to face me and I feel a wave of relief run through me but it is short lived. The look in her eyes chills me to the bone. It's like she can see me but she's looking straight through me. They're so full of pain yet hollow. It's a sight that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

She's shivering almost violently but it's like she can't even feel it, she just continues to stare out into the darkness, every so often bringing the cigarette to her lips, which are slowly turning blue.

"Zona come inside, it's freezing out here." I say as I catch her hand before it can reach her mouth once more.

"Leave me alone." She replies coldly pulling her hand away and taking one last drag from the cigarette in her hand before stubbing it out. I watch as slowly, without even removing her gaze from the storm that continues to billow over the city, she grabs a fresh cancer stick and lights it up.

"Please come inside Zona, You're going to make yourself sick if you stay out here."

"Go away Katey." She murmurs

"Zona…" I beg.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screams, glaring at me but I can see the tears she's desperately trying to hold back.

"No." I state. She stares back out at the dark night, her jaw tightening as she tries to withstand the waves of emotions rising up.

"No." I repeat calmly as I kneel in front of her, taking her free hand in mine. Reaching out I tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear and let my hand rest on her cheek.

"You can yell and scream all you want but I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Ok? I'm not going anywhere. It's going to be ok." I say watching her eyes carefully for any sign of the Arizona I know, any sign of life.

"You don't get it, it's never going to be ok. I fucked everything up. I broke her, the one thing I promised I would never do, I went ahead and did, without so much as a second thought."

I watch as my best friend crumples in front of me. A tear makes its way down her cheek rapidly joined by another and another, soon wave upon wave of tears are flowing down her cheeks but she makes no move to wipe them away. Instead she simply continues to stare past me out into the darkness.

The wind picks up slightly and a shiver runs though my body knocking me back into reality. I'd been so focused on Arizona I didn't notice the steady rain slowly soaking through my clothes. As I take in her blue lips and shaking hands once more I realize now isn't the time to stand around trying to coax her inside. I hastily grab the glass hanging dangerously between her fingers and place it on the table before seizing the cigarette and stubbing it out.

Before she has the chance to snap at me again I wrap an arm around her back while slipping my other arm under her legs. Surprisingly she doesn't put up a fight as I pick her up, she merely slumps against me as I carry her into the bathroom.

Sitting her down on the toilet, I open the shower door and turn the hot water on full. Turning back I see Zona staring at the wall with a look of defeat, tears still streaming down her pink cheeks.

Quickly ridding myself of my soaked shirt and jeans I move to do the same for Zona. She's been out there so long her clothes are practically frozen to her.

Kneeling in front of her I unlace her shoes, throwing them into the corner closely followed by her socks. Next I slowly peel back her coat before it too is thrown into the corner to be dealt with later.

"Arms up." I say softly and she mutely follows my order.

I swiftly pull her shirt up and over her head before discarding it to the corner. Grasping her arms lightly I pull her to her feet and undo the button and zipper on her jeans, pushing them down around her ankles. Holding both her hands I help her step out of her pants before leading her over to the shower. I quickly test the water before stepping into the stream and tugging Zona in behind me.

I want to say something, anything, but at the moment I doubt it will help. I decide the best course of action is to simply look after her and when she's ready we'll talk. So I situate her under the stream of water and try desperately to warm up her ice-cold skin. That is until her face crumples into agony and the sobs rip through her small frame. Instantly I wrap my arms around her and she clings desperately to me. I end up leaning heavily against the wall so slowly I slide us down the tiles until we're sitting on the floor of the shower. Pulling her into my lap I hold her, doing my best to comfort her as she cries into my shoulder.

"This isn't who my father raised me to be." The statement startles me, we'd been sitting in silence for a good fifteen minutes. Before I can reply she continues.

"I'm supposed to be a good man in a storm. I was suppose to look after her, protect her but instead of working through our problems together I decided to test her by walking away, when I knew the issues she has with people walking out of her life. Who does that?" She finishes with despise in her voice.

"Arizona Robbins don't you dare talk like that!" I reprimand. Speaking in a soft but strong voice I continue.

"What happened was not your fault. You ARE a good man in a storm. I know you would do whatever it takes to protect Callie but I also know you needed to know without a doubt that, she would protect you when the time came. Why wouldn't you want to know she was just as much in the relationship as you were? She's not the only one that has been hurt in the past. You are exactly who you were raised to be, you are strong and honourable. Even now when you're in so much pain you're trying to take the blame when it isn't all yours to take. You're still trying to protect her, make it easier for her. That shows me you're a good man in a storm."

"Thank you." She whispers.

"Come on, let's get washed up." I state as I begin to stand. We had already been in the shower for close to an hour so I was pretty sure we were going to run out of hot water soon.

Soon we're both clean and I'm handing a big fluffy towel to Zona. I'm in the middle of drying my hair when she speaks up. I turn towards her and look into her eyes as she stares intensely back at me.

"It hurts so much. It doesn't matter whose fault it is it still hurts. I just…I wish I could just forget, just for a while. Forget the pain and be myself again, even if only for a moment." It takes me a moment to realize what she's saying but I know straight away that I'll do anything to see that beautiful smile on her face once more.

"Please Katey." Her eyes are begging me. I hold her cheek softly, closing my eyes for a moment I take a deep breath in and the smell of her body wash fills my senses. Opening my eyes I give her small smile and a nod because it's one of the easiest decisions I've ever had to make.

"Ok." I breathe.

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**AN: **So what did you think? Review and let me know!


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